Northwestern to Break Ground on Huge Fucking Inconvenience in 2015
EVANSTON, Ill. – Explaining that nothing was more important than the future of Northwestern University and its students, university president Morton Schapiro announced plans to break ground on...
View ArticleCandyless Schapiro Reminds Trick-or-Treaters About New Student Center
EVANSTON, Ill. — Northwestern University President Morton O. Schapiro reportedly attempted to comfort disappointed trick-or-treaters at his home by reminding them that a new student center is probably...
View Article29 Things that will Happen at Northwestern Just After You Graduate
1) The US News & World Report will rank Northwestern in the Top 10 Best Schools in the Nation. 2) The University will purchase 25 new safe ride cars. 3) The new student center and lakeside athletic...
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